Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Using Phoenix Down

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. There have been a lot of changes in my life in the last few months, no little of which has been the steady decline of my health. I have also been dressing differently, and trying to figure out where the line is between "comfortable" and "comfortable and not schlubby". Because I work from home now, I spend most of my time around the house, and I have a certain level of comfort I require for such activities.

A subtitle to this post would be How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Leggings.

I used to be in the anti leggings camp. Then I realized that some of my clothing that is unwearable in the summer due to heat or length issues (a thick polyester mini dress and jeans is a warm, warm choice) could be solved by leggings, or tights, or even bicycle shorts.

My fashion sense, as a result, has gotten very 80's and I don't even care. It's comfortable and I feel good in them, I can wear them around the house and feel dressed. currently I'm wearing old gym shorts and a spaghetti strap top with a totally inadequate built in bra, and honestly I am at the 'may as well be naked' point.

What does this have to do with makeup? Not a whole hell of a lot or everything, I'm not entirely sure. I haven't worn much makeup lately. Not since Deathly Hallows Pt 2 premiered (although I will say I looked DAMNED CUTE for that, my makeup came out lovely and I don't think I have a picture to commemorate).

My birthday is in less than 24 hours- on Wednesday I turn 27. I don't like the old remarks. I have a bum knee. My teeth are, frankly, rotting out of my head. It's the worst. But I don't feel old, I simply feel broken. What's the point of wearing lipstick? My teeth are fucking hideous and distracting. It's why I look like I'm painfully mincing in any recent pictures taken of me. I refuse to smile. I don't like talking about this because having bad teeth is much like being fat, in that you get judged for it and everyone else assumes it's all your fault, and that any other reason you give is just an excuse. So I don't. But I am in so much pain that it's effecting everything, including my willingness to write at all, my health, and the amount of food I get in my body.

Until recently, the two full length pairs of pants I wore were jamma bottoms. One was star wars, one had Darth Stewie. They both are torn up and I feel terrible in them.

I'm going to try to make some clothes, and make use of clothes I don't normally wear. And if I can't, then I'm gonna cart them to Good will or something. I'm going to try to feel like I'm wearing clothes. It won't be a drastic change, one elastic band pant is much like another. I'll try to at least throw on a neutral eyeshadow and some eyeliner, because it makes me feel prettier.

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